Love and War
by Lady Idhril
Summary: Fred and George go back to school with lots of pranks up their sleeves. Hermione ends up a target, and thus the war begins!
1. Mother Knows Best

**Disclaimer**: (applies for all preceding chapters as well) _I own plot. JKR owns the rest. Yup yup._

**Full Summary**: _Fred and George are ordered to repeat their seventh year properly, and neither of them is happy about this. With more pranks up their sleeves because of their booming business, they come to school reeking havoc everywhere and angering quite a few. When Hermione threatens to stop their antics, she ends up in the line of fire on many of their pranks! Now, its revenge and mayhem in store for sure…and of course one must remember that all is fair in love and war!_

**A/N**: _I know this is highly unlikely, but I figured Mrs. Weasley would be quite angry with the two of them - enough so to do this. Also, I'm ignoring the Voldemort aspect in the time frame - I'll leave that to JKR's book that comes out in July. Sorry if this bothers anyone, I really just wanted to write a romantic comedy with lots of twists and melodramatic angst that will make anyone laugh. Please read, enjoy, and review! Thanks!_

**Love and War**

**Chapter One**: **_Mother Knows Best_**

"But mum!"

"You can't do this!"

"Oh yes I can!" screamed Mrs. Weasley at her twin sons. The three of them were in the kitchen where the shouting match had started not two minutes ago. The other occupants of the Burrow were all huddled in a big bunch on the rickety staircase nearest to the kitchen door.

"But the joke shop -" one of the twins began to say, but a loud "Ow!" ended it. The people on the staircase assumed she'd hit them with her cooking spoon.

"Dropping out of school to start that retched business, I can't believe you!" she all but screeched. They heard more clattering pots and pans and a few spells cast as she started breakfast. "I thought that retched nonsense would be out of your heads by now. You didn't even take your N.E.W.T.S.!"

"What's the point of taking them?" one of the twins replied.

"It's associated with the Ministry," the other said. "You really want us taking an exam that's part of the Ministry?"

"_That's not the point_!" Mrs. Weasley yelled. "Those exams matter! And you _will_ repeat your seventh year and take those exams or I'll have both your heads! I can't believe your gall! Flying away on broomsticks and opening a joke shop! Where in Merlin's name did you find the money for such a thing?"

Back on the staircase, Ron looked over his shoulder at Harry, who was sitting behind him. Harry blushed, and felt immediately guilty about giving the twins that money, but what Ron said next changed that. "I don't think they ever told mum about you giving them that gold," he whispered to Harry. "I mean, we all would've heard her bellowing about it if they had."

Hermione, who was sitting next to Ron, looked to her left at him, then back at Harry, and said nothing, although she did shake her head at their talk.

Ginny, who was sitting next to Harry, asked, "Do you think they'll stop fighting if we come down to breakfast?"

Ron looked up at her, thought about what she'd said for a moment and then nodded. So one by one the four of them headed quietly down the stairs. The only voice now coming from the kitchen was the continuation of Mrs. Weasley's bantering. She was still talking aloud about the twins, who were sitting at the kitchen table as far from their mother as possible.

When the four of them walked in, they quietly said hello to Mrs. Weasley. Fred and George glared at their mother, and, deciding to be safe, Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny sat a number of seats away from them.

"Where's Dad?" asked Ginny bravely. She took a piece of toast from the plate her mother had just put on the table and buttered it.

"He had to leave for work early," she said quickly. "Raids everywhere, as usual." She came bustling back to the table and placed a heaping plate of eggs and bacon before them. With a wave of her wand she directed a single plate towards the far end of the table that had burned bacon and watery-looking eggs on it.

Tension began to settle as Mrs. Weasley continued with her kitchen chores and Fred and George stabbed at the horrid food they'd been given. While Mrs. Weasley's back was to them, Harry suddenly watched as four pieces of toast flew by his nose towards the twins. Next went equal amounts of bacon, and without a word Fred and George left the kitchen with simultaneous _cracks!_ at which all but Mrs. Weasley jumped. She turned around at the sound of the noise, and with a swish of her wand, Fred and George's plates zoomed over to her and cleaned themselves at the sink.

When the four of them had finished, they all headed back up to Ron's room. As they climbed the stairs, they passed by Fred and George's door, and faint murmuring could be heard on the other side.

"What do you think they're up to?" Ginny asked, trying to keep her voice down.

"Probably some hair-brained scheme that'll have mom ready to skin them alive," Ron remarked.

"Honestly," Hermione huffed, "they're always wreaking havoc wherever they go. I wouldn't be surprised if they managed expulsion this year."

At this, the twin's bedroom door was hurled open so that it almost flew off the hinges. Harry, Hermione and Ron all jumped back, and Ginny ducked behind Harry and Ron. Hermione was still the closest one to the door.

The twins were standing side by side in the door frame. They were also beaming down at Hermione in such a maniacal way that she was wary they'd try to hurt her.

"We love your faith in us Hermione, dear," one of them said - Hermione wasn't sure which one was which.

"Yeah," the other twin replied. "We'd try for expulsion, trust us. The thought has crossed our minds."

"But we actually have to obey mum's orders this time," the other replied angrily.

"And why's that?" Ron asked. Ginny poked her nose out from behind his shoulder.

"Apparently you can't own a joke shop unless you have a certificate of graduation," the first twin replied.

"I didn't know that," Hermione replied, sounding somewhat surprised by the news.

The twins both turned to look at her. "What? Were you thinking of running away from Hogwarts and starting a joke shop too?"

"We could handle the competition you know -"

"- But you might find it hard to get the funds -"

"- Although I think that you're certainly clever enough to try, no doubt."

Hermione huffed. "I was _not_ thinking about such a thing! I just figured that since you're both legal wizards that such a thing as needing a 'certificate of graduation' would be utterly pointless."

"Of course not, they want to be sure that you have schooling. They don't want a couple of nutters owning a business!"

Ginny let out a slight snort and ducked back behind Ron and Harry.

Hermione huffed again. "If you two cause any mayhem this year, I will report you," she declared. The twins merely exchanged smiles at this. But Hermione's next words knocked those smirks away. "Reporting you to the Headmaster might not do the trick, but I'm sure reports to your mother would!"

"You didn't tell her anything the last time you tried that line on us!" Fred cried indignantly.

George nodded. "You're bluffing."

Hermione folded her arms across her chest. "Oh, am I?" she replied angrily. Harry and Ron backed away slightly, shuffling Ginny along with them. "Then go ahead and try and find out the hard way. I dare you. Put one toe out of line with me and your mum would be sure to hear about it."

"Then we'll be sure to not cross paths with you, won't we Fred?" said George.

"Certainly, George," answered Fred. With a flourish, they had walked back into their room and had slammed it shut behind them.

Hermione, still furious with the twins antics, marched right passed Ron, Harry and Ginny on the stairs and headed up to Ron's room.

"They must have death wishes to attempt to get her knickers in a twist," Ron murmured.

Harry merely nodded. Slowly, they followed Hermione upstairs, glancing one last time at Fred and George's closed bedroom door.

"Hermione won't know what hit her if the twins do something drastic to her. She's a target to them now, all because she's trying to defy them like mum is," Ginny said.

"Yeah, well Fred and George won't know what hit them either, if they succeed in harassing Hermione," Ron replied. "She'll knock them both silly! Remember when that Skeeter woman tried to do her in? Hermione went and stuffed her in a jar and blackmailed her! Or what she did to Umbridge?"

"Hermione can be amazing when she's angry," Ginny declared, and the two boys nodded in agreement.

**A/N**: _Please Review! I'll love you forever, I swear! Thanks so much! Next chapter up soon!_


	2. You're a Maroon

**A/N**: _Here is the next chapter! All of the thank-you's to whomever reviewed can be found at then end!_

**Disclaimer**: _See first chapter. Thank-you._

**Love and War**

**Chapter Two: _You're a Maroon_**

A month had passed since Mrs. Weasley had yelled her throat raw at Fred and George about the two of them dropping out of school. Hermione, having threatened the living daylights out of the twins as well, had kept her guard up for over a week. But when nothing happened, she finally relaxed a bit, if only because Fred and George had been out of the Burrow making arrangements with Angelina Johnson to watch the shop while they returned to Hogwarts. Angelina didn't blame Mrs. Weasley one bit, but she felt bad for her friends, and so agreed to keep shop for the year.

The week before their return to Hogwarts was utter mayhem. School books and supplies needed to be bought, and Pigwidgeon had swallowed one of Fred and George's experimental sweets. For about four days, poor little Pig was randomly turning green and orange and giving off a strong smell of moldy cheese every time he opened his mouth to release putrid looking bubbles. When asked what kind of treat he'd eaten, the twins merely said, "one in its early stages of badness."

Ron was quite angry with his older brothers while Pig recovered. Ron feared his room would never smell the same again, but Mrs. Weasley cured that with an air freshening charm. Hermione glowered more fiercely at the twins now, her eyes narrowed, daring them to try something on anyone. She knew they wouldn't pull anything drastic as long as they were inside the Burrow.

It was the day before they would leave for Kings Cross Station when Fred and George were suddenly nowhere to be found. Mrs. Weasley thought that this was wonderful since the boys had been nothing but trouble to her all summer long. The younger sort though began to wonder what they were planning all of a sudden.

"They haven't pulled any pranks all summer," Ginny remarked.

"What do you mean?" Ron demanded. "Look what they did to Pig!"

"That was an accident Ron," Ginny replied soothingly. They all looked over at Pig in his cage, back to his regular feathered color and no longer stinky. "But come to think of it, they have been more annoying this year."

"I recall them clearing out the gnomes in the flower beds and dropping one of the potato-looking rascal's in Charlie's old room," Ron said. "What a disaster that was."

"I seem to remember Fred and George accidentally using explosives in their room and singeing off their eyebrows. It's a pity they grew back," Harry added.

"How about when they replaced mum's meatballs with dungbombs?" Ginny reminded them. "I don't think mum will ever forgive them for that one."

"But really, what can they possibly be planning so late in the summer that will be far worse than what they've already done?" Hermione asked.

"Anything," Ron and Ginny said in unison.

Hermione huffed. "They're just two eighteen year old boys with lots of red hair and freckles! They've got to mature one day!"

"Hey!" Ron said with an indignant look on his face.

"You're sixteen, pipe down," Ginny replied. Harry suppressed a laugh at Ron's expression.

"I mean, really," Hermione continued, "so what if they are planning a whole lot of pranks? I'll threaten them again if I have to."

"I don't think they really care Hermione," Harry remarked kindly.

Ginny nodded. "Yeah, Fred and George will call your bluff again. They're not going to take you seriously. And besides, even if you are serious, they still won't care, simply because they were born rule breakers."

Mrs. Weasley's voice called out to them from downstairs just then. "I sure hope you lot are packing up there!" Ginny rolled her eyes, but obediently stood up and went downstairs to her own room to begin packing before they left tomorrow. Hermione followed, watching as Ron and Harry began shuffling around the piles of laundered clothes.

As Hermione passed Fred and George's closed door, she thought she heard them murmuring and moving things about. Curiosity getting the better of her for the moment, she leaned up close to the door to listen,

"Did you get it?" she heard one of them ask.

"Yeah, it's right here." She heard some rummaging around and then something that sounded like breaking glass.

"Watch it!" she heard one of them yell. "That stuff'll burn a hole in the floor."

"Mom'll fancy that," the other voice added.

"Quick, hand me my wand." A mumbled "_Reparo_!" followed by a "_Scourgify_!" followed this demand. But then the sounds from within stopped, and Hermione backed away from the door quickly.

"Silencing Charm," she muttered, and then strode off to Ginny's room to finish packing.

"What do your brothers have that can burn a hole in the floor?" Hermione asked as she walked in. She sounded almost thoughtful, but she was feeling quite apprehensive. After all, she was still afraid that Fred and George would try to do her in ever since she'd threatened them.

Ginny glanced over at Hermione with a raised eyebrow. "I have no idea what type of weird things they concoct in that lab that they call a bedroom. But in truth, I don't want to know."

Hermione nodded, not feeling the slightest bit better about things.

The girls had an easier time packing than the boys did. Their clothes weren't haphazardly scattered around the room, and in a matter of minutes Hermione had successfully locked her trunk. She looked over to see Ginny doing the same thing, struggling a bit more to cram everything into it. She hadn't quite packed everything as neatly as Hermione had.

"Do you think your mum will mind if I shower before dinner?" Hermione asked Ginny.  
The red-haired girl was now sitting down on top of her trunk, panting a bit from heaving it closed.

"No, go ahead," she wheezed.

As Hermione was about to enter the bathroom though, a freckle-faced twin came out and almost collided with her.

"Oh, sorry Hermione!" he said, and Hermione stood there, blinking a moment as she tried to figure out which twin she was talking to.

"Fred?" she asked. The twin shook his head. "George?" she asked, sounding more confident, but then he shook his head again. "Well make up your mind! Which one are you?"

"Fred," he replied. "Going to take a shower?"

"Yes, I -"

"Well enjoy," Fred smiled, and walked back to his and George's bedroom. Hermione stood there in bewilderment a moment, but then walked into the bathroom and hurriedly locked the door. She looked around the bathroom a moment, and then decided to make sure nothing looked jinxed before she showered. She was relieved to find that the towels weren't fake, the soap did not contain frog spawn, and the shampoo was not a Shrinking potion in disguise.

Turning on the water, Hermione stepped under it and was glad to feel the warmth taking away her aches and pains. She ducked her head under and stayed like that for a moment, then finally reached for the shampoo, closing her eyes as she began to wash her bushy hair.

It wasn't until Hermione had almost finished her shower that she thought something was wrong. Looking down at her hands, she blinked for a moment, and then looked down at her legs. Something had gone wrong, and she knew Fred and George were going to die.

She was purple. Her legs, her hands, her arms - everything was a bright, maroon color, the kind you usually see on eggplants or Easter eggs. She jumped out of the shower and ran to the mirror, wiping a purple hand to clear away the condensation. Yes, her face, and - oh _no_- her hair was purple too. Everything but the whites of her eyes had become one big, maroon blob.

An ear-piercing shriek suddenly shook the Burrow. The next minute, Hermione had thrown open the bathroom door and was hollering outside Fred and George's closed one. She had hastily thrown a towel around her body and she was dripping water droplets all over the floor, but she didn't care. She was going to kill the twins.

Their door opened, very slowly in fact, but the twins came out and dared to look at Hermione's ruby colored face while wearing huge Cheshire grins on their own. Ginny had come out of her own bedroom and was gapping at Hermione, and Ron and Harry were staring with a bit of shock. It wasn't until Mrs. Weasley came up from the kitchen that she let out a short shriek, and then started berating the twins.

"_What did you do to her_?" she screamed. "Why in Merlin's name is she _purple_?" She hurried over to Hermione at the same time that Ginny did, and she began to look her over, wondering how on earth every inch of her body had changed color.

"We didn't lay a hand on her," George replied. Their grins didn't fade the slightest.

"What did you do to the shower?" Hermione shrieked. Mrs. Weasley turned her head to look at the open bathroom door, and then bustled over to it when she heard that the water was still running.

"It's just a simple -" Fred began, but Mrs. Weasley's yells sounded over his.

"The _entire shower stall_ is PURPLE!" she yelled. She reappeared in the hallway then, and the grins of the twins faces vanished. Ginny scurried over to stand by Harry and Ron and the three of them drifted into the shadows on the staircase. Mrs. Weasley looked absolutely livid, her narrowed eyes turned to slits. Her wand was pointed angrily at her twin sons.

"Is all the water in this house now going to turn everything purple?" she shrieked.

"No, no!" George said, waving his hands before him in defense. "We only put it on the shower stall. Your kitchen and the other bathroom are fine!"

"What in the world were you thinking?" she demanded next, still brandishing her wand at them. "What did you use to make Hermione turn purple?"

"It's a potion with a specific charm performed on it," Fred said weakly. His eyes were following his mother's wand as she waved it under his nose.

"You better fix it before you lot go back to Hogwarts tomorrow!"

At this, Fred and George traded looks, each with raised eyebrows and wide eyes. Mrs. Weasley looked from one to the other, her face growing almost as puce as Hermione's.

"Explain yourselves! Can you fix her?" she ordered, her voice rising even more.

"Uhh…no," Fred said.

"What do you mean _NO_!" Hermione shrieked, running up to them. She pulled up the towel that was wrapped around her body and glared at them.

"It's an experimental spell, you see, and we haven't figured out how to change the color back yet," George said.

"But don't worry," Fred added. "You'll only be maroon for about thirty-six hours."

At this, Hermione's eyes widened in shock. She looked rather creepy actually, with only the whites of her eyes unchanged by the shower water. Fred and George backed up another step.

"Thirty-six hours?" she said quietly. "I'm going to be bright purple for my first day back at Hogwarts." Then she turned away slowly and walked back to the room she shared with Ginny. Ginny hurried to follow, and as soon as the door was closed behind the two of them, Mrs. Weasley waved her wand one more under their noses in a threatening manner.

"If I hear one complaint from _anyone_ when you return to Hogwarts, you are both in for serious trouble!" Then she hurried back downstairs to the kitchen to finish preparing dinner.

Harry and Ron finally decided to emerge from the shadows. "Hermione is not a force to be reckoned with," Harry advised. The twins merely glared angrily at them.

Ron narrowed his eyes at the twins. "You better watch your back, you know. Hermione and I are Prefects."

"Oh no, ickle Ronnie's gonna give us detention!" They both pretended to quiver in fear.

"Oh, shut-up," Ron grumbled. "But you two had better be careful, or Hermione will find a way to get back at you.

"She could never out-do us!" Fred replied, waving his hand dramatically.

"You do realize she's the cleverest witch out of Hogwarts?" Harry asked

"Or that she's probably read nearly every single book in the library?" Ron added.

"Or that she scored "Outstanding" on all of her OWLS?" Harry said, ticking off Hermione's accomplishments on his fingers.

"Alright, alright!" George said.

"We'll walk on eggshells around Hermione from now on, trust us," Fred replied sarcastically, pretending to prance around on his toes as him and George went back into their room, laughing their heads off.

**A/N**: _Hope you all liked! Chapter Three should be out soon. __Thank-you to everyone who reviewed!_


	3. Muggle Malls

**A/N**: _Thanks for the reviews! Again, my thanks to you all can be found at the end of his chapter!_

_My wonderful "nitpicker" Becca inspired this chapter, and so all kudos to her. It doesn't have much to do with the twins, but it is hysterical and it deals with the issue of a purple Hermione and how to cure her. So enjoy, and I hope you like!_

**Disclaimer**: _see first chapter, thank-you._

**Love and War**

**Chapter Three: _Muggle Malls_**

Ginny, Hermione and Mrs. Weasley were seated in the kitchen just before dinner. The purple colored Hermione was in her bathrobe, having been coaxed out of her room by Ginny with the persuasion that Mrs. Weasley could cover up the damage Fred and George had done.

"I can't guarantee anything, Hermione dear," Mrs. Weasley said as she flicked her wand at the pot of stew. "But a good charm, preferably a Concealment or a Glamour Charm, ought to do the trick."

"Unless that's exactly what Fred and George used to make that potion irreversible," Ginny murmured. Hermione heard her and shot Ginny a nasty look. A loud snicker of laughter was heard in the other room.

"Well, it's worth a shot. Now hold still, and let's give this a try," Mrs. Weasley said. A faint call of, "it's not going to work!" was sing-songed from the other room. Hermione clenched her teeth, trying to ignore the twins.

"Ow!" Hermione yelled. Her check felt like it had been burned off.

"Oh, well this doesn't do any good. Let's try something different," Mrs. Weasley remarked as Hermione rubbed at the burn mark. Mrs. Weasley tapped Hermione's check, healing the burn, and then tried Hermione's hand this time, but a similar burning effect happened.

"Isn't there a muggle song about a Purple People Eater?" the voice on the other side of the wall asked.

"Well there is a purple, bushy-haired monster in our house, but I doubt she eats people. She likes dry food -"

"-Like books."

Hermione ran out of the room then in a fury, and two yowls of pain were heard in the other room. This was followed by feet running up the stairs and the slamming of a door a minute later.

"It's just as well," Mrs. Weasley replied. "Dinner's ready. And I doubt Hermione would want to eat in the same room with the two of them right now."

Indeed, Hermione did not come down to dinner at all. Fred and George couldn't help but crack jokes about her purple skin condition in her absence. It wasn't until Mrs. Weasley aimed a bowl of mashed potatoes at their heads that they finally stopped.

Ginny excused herself early to bring a plate up to Hermione. Fred and George, although quiet, still didn't look the slightest bit guilty about the incident. They were charming dinner rolls to skip around the table and fling butter at Harry and Ron.

Ginny felt funny knocking on her own bedroom door. "Hermione?" she called. "I have dinner."

The door opened a crack and a purple person poked their face out. "Come in," Hermione said quietly, and Ginny squeezed herself in quickly. Hermione was now sitting on the foot of Ginny's bed, still wrapped in her bathrobe and looking quite depressed.

"I don't want to return to Hogwarts looking purple," she moaned softly. Ginny walked over and took a place next to Hermione, handing the purple girl the plate of food.

"Well the good news is we can cover your body with jeans and a jacket, even gloves if we have to," Ginny offered as Hermione bit into the roast pork. "It's everything from the neck up that will be a problem."

Hermione chewed thoughtfully on her dinner for a moment and then put the plate aside as she jumped up and ran to her trunk. Ginny watched her curiously, wondering if Hermione was coming up with a plan.

The purple girl came and sat back down on the bed, rummaging through an odd looking book in Ginny's opinion. The pages were glossy and colorful, very much unlike the newspapers she read.

"Do you think make-up would work?" Hermione suddenly asked, tearing out a page from the funny looking book.

Ginny furrowed her brow. "Make-up?" she asked.

"Yes," said Hermione, tearing out another page. "It's a muggle product. Muggle women use it to enhance their beauty. Here," she replied, shoving a glossy page into Ginny's hands. Ginny was looking at a close-up of a girls face, an advertisement of some sort.

"What is this thing?" Ginny asked, poking at the paper in Hermione's hands and flipping through the pages.

"It's called a magazine. My mum stuck it in my trunk, she does so every year. Apparently she thinks I'll use it for reading material, or that I'll get some good beauty tips from it. This'll please her to know it finally came into use."

"And you want to know if this stuff," Ginny asked, pointing at the picture, "will work to cover your purple skin?"

"Yes. The only problem is I don't own any muggle make-up. So I'd need someone to go out and buy some. Do you think you and Harry could go? He can handle muggle money, and I'm sure he's been in muggle stores before."

"What?" Ginny nearly cried out. "You trust me to go with Harry to a place full of muggles and buy you a muggle product?"

"Well…yes," Hermione replied."

"No!"

"Ginny, _please_," Hermione nearly whined. "I'll give my money to Harry and the two of you can go -"

"Go _where_ Hermione? We live outside of Ottery St.Catchpole. You do realize that the Burrow is nearly in the middle of nowhere? The closest thing to us is the highway!"

"So you can take the highway to a mall or a shopping center of some sorts, can't you?"

"I've never even heard of a mall before," Ginny remarked, somewhat exasperated.

"Ginny, please!" Hermione pleaded, ripping out another page from the magazine. She looked so utterly excited, Ginny was afraid to disappoint her, even if Hermione's pleading was scary. She forgot how the girl could get when she was struck with a clever solution. "Ginny, it won't take long, and you'll have Harry to handle the muggle money, and you could bring your dad with you - he likes muggle things, and I doubt your parents would let you and Harry go alone."

"Hermione, we don't even know if this stuff'll work," Ginny tried to reason.

"It's worth a shot though, isn't it? What else have we - well, _I_ - got left to lose?" Hermione had a huge smile on her face, her last hope of recovering from purple phobia clutched in her hands. She giggled, a sign of hope, and Ginny shook her head and knew she'd better just get it over with.

Ginny shook her head, admitting defeat. "I'll go find my dad and Harry."

Hermione suddenly lunged at Ginny, hugging her tightly and smiling happily. "Thank-you Ginny!" she said, then picked up her plate of food again as the red haired girl left the room.

* * *

An hour later Ginny, Harry and Mr. Weasley were sitting in the backseat of a taxi and heading down the highway to a muggle mall. The taxi driver had been a bit confused about what they'd wanted at first, as Arthur Weasley was so excited he kept saying "We're headed for a Mallgle!" Harry had finally pulled Mr. Weasley aside and had explained that "muggle mall" wasn't one word, but two. 

The ride had been a bit chaotic. Mr. Weasley was so excited that he kept pointing out things and Harry had to either explain or elaborate. The taxi driver kept glancing over his shoulder, eyeing his passengers as if they had just escaped from a mental ward.

"What is that dog doing?" Mr. Weasley asked after that had gotten off the highway.

"Umm…he's peeing on a fire hydrant, Mr. Weasley," Harry had replied, turning red from holding back laughter. Ginny had already given into her giggles.

"A fire hydrant? Why's that dog urinating on one…and what exactly is a fire hydrant?" The taxi suddenly swerved sharply as the driver looked over his shoulder in astonishment at Mr. Weasley. He said nothing, but his wide eyes were enough to make Harry and Ginny burst with laughter again.

"Oh look! A pet shop!" Mr. Weasley had suddenly cried out. "I bought Ron a puffskein from a pet emporium once…pity Fred shot the thing into the swamp during bludger practice."

"_WHAT_?" the taxi driver suddenly screamed, swerving and nearly hitting a lamp post as he turned to look at Mr. Weasley as if he'd gone mad.

"Sorry, he's a - he's not -" Harry began to say.

"Got knocked in the head by a horse, altered his speech," Ginny supplied. Harry tried to keep a straight face as the taxi driver studied all three of them. But Mr. Weasley's next words ruined it all.

"How extraordinary! A color changing box, look at it up there! What do those colors mean anyway?"

The taxi driver studied Mr. Weasley a moment. Then with a raised eyebrow, he asked, "You don't get out much anymore, do you?"

"I work in London, but I take a very different way there. Your lot has the most interesting gadgets though."

"Right," the taxi driver said, his eyes wide and scared. He seemed to think Mr. Weasley was rabid and would attack at any moment.

When they finally made it to mall, Harry and Ginny were suppressing so much laughter that they nearly fell over when getting out of the taxi. Mr. Weasley had insisted on handling the money himself to pay the taxi driver, who seemed grateful to be rid of such strange folk. Once paid, the three of them began walking into the large muggle building.

"Simply fascinating!" Mr. Weasley had proclaimed as they walked in an automatic door. He stood in front of the door for a moment, then backed away and waited for it to close. He then stepped in front of it again and watched as it opened for him.

"Umm, Mr. Weasley?" Harry had prodded. Ginny couldn't help but start giggling all over again.

"How extraordinary like magic this is!" Mr. Weasley had proclaimed. With a strong tug on each arm, Ginny and Harry managed to pull Mr. Weasley away. Quite a few people were staring by then.

The three of them wandered around until Harry found a department store that looked familiar. He remembered going in one once with Aunt Petunia and Dudley years ago, and he had seen women apply make-up to elderly and wrinkled old ladies. He also remembered Aunt Petunia getting sprayed with a nasty smelling perfume that had lingered on his own clothes for days, much to his dismay.

Harry led the two Weasley's towards the department store, keeping a strong grip on Mr. Weasley's forearm. Ginny followed enthusiastically, although she wasn't making as big a fuss over everything the way her dad was.

"What do you call that thing over there?" Mr. Weasley had asked Harry, pointing quite noticeably across the mall.

"That's a man in a dog costume, Mr. Weasley."

"Is that similar to an Animagus? Are they registered?" Mr. Weasley seemed to want to go talk to the man and began tugging on Harry's arm in that direction.

"Mr. Weasley, it's a _costume_!" Harry tried to say as indiscreetly as possible, attempting to pull Mr. Weasley back. "If he were an Animagus wouldn't he _look_ more like a dog?"

"Dad, come on!" Ginny urged, pointing to the department store again. "We're here to help Hermione from the mess your twin sons made, remember?"

But Mr. Weasley had pulled out of their grasp and was striding over to the man in the dog costume. The dog was standing outside a toy store and was waving for people to come in. Currently, a few small children were surrounding him and he was petting their heads with his paws.

Mr. Weasley waited kindly on the side until the dog-man noticed him. He smiled at the dog, and then the dog opened his arms wide and began walking towards Mr. Weasley, who wasn't sure what to do. The dog hugged him, and Ginny, laughing uncontrollably again, nearly fell into Harry at the look on her dad's face.

When the dog finally pulled away he patted Mr. Weasley on the head too. Mr. Weasley smiled, and then asked the dog, "is the transformation difficult?"

The man in the costume tilted his head to the side, completely bewildered. Harry and Ginny came rushing to stand on each side of Mr. Weasley, and tugged on his arms again.

"Come on dad, we're here for Hermione…" Ginny was saying, but Mr. Weasley didn't hear her.

"You don't look much like a dog, but I guess the transformation process got botched. Usually when people turn into dogs they walk on four legs. Do people make fun of you for -"

"Mr. Weasley, come on!" Harry pleaded.

"Sir, what on earth are you talking about?" a woman nearby asked. She was shielding her son with her arm, keeping him away from Mr. Weasley. The man in the dog costume nodded his head, waving his hands at his side as if he were asking the same thing as the woman.

"Sorry about him," Ginny said quickly, placing a hand on her father's arm. "He doesn't get out much."

"Obviously," another woman retorted. "You should teach him some manners or something. My poor little Timmy will be asking questions all day about transformations and the like!"

"Your poor little Timmy should read a book," Harry snarled, eyeing the little ten year old. "_Transformations_ are a part of life, kid. Its called puberty."

"Harry!" Ginny said, appalled. The dog man hurried into the store and began talking with a cashier.

"How dare you!" the outraged mother of little Timmy declared, and then hurried away.

"Hey, I wanted to ask the dog if he was registered or not with the Ministry!" Mr. Weasley declared.

"Dad, Harry…we should be going," Ginny urged. Harry looked over her shoulder and saw mall security heading towards them. Ginny began pushing on her dad's arm, hoping he would get the hint and start walking away.

But Mr. Weasley had noticed that the man in the dog costume was coming back, and as he walked away Ginny nearly fell over. Harry quickly caught her, and the two of them watched with baited breathe as the security officers began to talk to Mr. Weasley.

"Sir, what seems to be the trouble here?" the shorter guard asked Mr. Weasley.

"Nothing, I was just - say, do you hit people with those little sticks on your belts?" he asked excitedly. Ginny slapped her hand to her forehead.

"Excuse me, sir?"

"Are they useful? Do you have a - oh, what do you call them? Your type use them to shoot other people. A gum, do you call it?"

"It's a gun Mr. Weasley," Harry said, coming up to stand at his side. He then looked up at the officers. "Sorry about him. Got kicked in the head by a horse and he doesn't get out much," he said, using Ginny's excuse from earlier. "We'll just be going now."

Harry shoved Mr. Weasley hard and away they went. The small children and their mothers that still lingered around the front of the store were all pointing at the strange man, and the dog man was waving an angry fist.

The security guards followed the three of them until they found the store they wanted. Harry and Ginny, each on one side of Mr. Weasley to lead him along, walked in and began to wander up and down aisles, until Harry saw a counter that jogged his memory.

"This way," he replied, and steered Mr. Weasley and Ginny to the right.

The lady behind the make-up counter immediately reminded Harry of Rita Skeeter, only with black hair instead of blonde. She had fingernails that looked lethal and painted a shocking pink that matched her lipstick perfectly. Ginny looked frightened of the women, especially when she turned around and smiled at her.

"Hello," she replied, a nasty, nasally sound that had no hidden qualities of niceness. "Can I help you find something?"

Harry and Ginny exchanged a quick look that seemed to say that their bravery to come here was all for Hermione.

Mr. Weasley though, was the first to speak up. He had wandered over to a counter to the right and was poking at some eye-shadows. "How do these work? Do you stick them on your body or something? They look like paint." The woman turned to him with a very confused and angry look on her face. Ginny hastily walked over to her dad and nudged him away from the counter.

"Actually," she said, looking at the lady behind the counter, "we're looking for some mescotics -"

"-Cosmetics," Harry whispered under his breathe.

"Yes, cosmetics," she said, correcting herself. She pulled the pages that Hermione had ripped from her magazine out of her pocket and showed the woman. "This type of stuff, if you have it…"

The woman took a moment to examine the pages. "Oh, I understand," the women replied, a large smile suddenly covering her heavily made-up face. Quickly, she came out from behind the counter and walked over to Ginny, wrapping a pink-talon hand around Ginny's upper arm. "Come right this way sweetie. If you wanted a make-over, all you had to do was say so."

"But, I -"

"Have a seat, darling," the woman replied, hastily shoving Ginny into a chair. Harry stood there on the other side of the counter, trying not to laugh at the outraged look on Ginny's face.

The woman took Ginny's chin in her hand, critically examining the young red head's complexion. "Not a bad tone, quite pale actually. Soft skin, small pores, not a trace of ache. My, you could a very pretty girl if only you knew how to apply make-up!" The woman turned around and Ginny passed Harry a quizzical and very scared look.

* * *

Mr. Weasley had wandered off. Harry and Ginny had become so preoccupied in the make-over the woman had offered that he figured the two of them wouldn't know he'd gone off for a minute or two. 

He turned a corner and came across an aisle of hair-care products. Little boxes were on the left side, all covered with pictures of un-moving women.

Mr. Weasley poked on. "How strange that they don't move," he muttered to himself. A woman a bit further down the aisle passed him a curious look. Mr. Weasley smiled at her.

Picking up one of the boxes, he began to read what the product was. He was astonished to find that it was some sort of potion that changed your hair color! How marvelous! This was just what Hermione needed! He scanned the boxes, looking for one that would bring Hermione's hair back to its normal color. Once satisfied, he poked the box again, just to make sure the woman on it wasn't teasing him. The woman further down the aisle smiled to herself at the strangeness of Mr. Weasley.

"Does this box change the color of one's hair?" he asked the lady. She walked over, glanced at the box and nodded.

"Indeed, but are you sure that color will cover your red hair?" she asked him.

"Oh, it's not for me!" he explained. "My daughter's friend had an accident and we have to figure out how to change her hair color back."

The woman nodded in understanding. "What color did her hair become?" she asked.

"Purple," Mr. Weasley replied. "My twin sons played a prank on her."

"The poor dear!" the woman exclaimed. "Well if this doesn't work, I saw some gorgeous hats over that way that should cover her hair," she added, pointing.

"Why thank-you!" Mr. Weasley replied, and off he went, clutching his box of hair changing potion. He walked down a few isles, accidentally finding shoes. Once he emerged though, he found what the woman had said. He picked up a big, red, floppy one, and examined it a moment. He could have his wife change the color of it later, he thought to himself, and clutching his box of color changing hair potion and a new hat, he headed back to find Ginny and Harry.

* * *

"I don't think red is my color -" 

"Nonsense, now close your mouth."

"But - phelgh!" Ginny cried, getting a mouthful of face powder. She stuck her tongue out and gagged a moment. Harry backed another step, not wanting to be covered in the stuff.

"Almost done, sweetie," the woman declared. Ginny had nearly given up on trying to explain to the bird brained woman that she needed no such make-over. All she'd received for her stubborn trouble was pain and nasty tastes in her mouth, as well as multiple pokes in the eye.

"There," the make-up artist proclaimed. "You look absolutely _lovely_ now!"

Ginny could tell from the way Harry was smirking that she was in for a mighty big surprise as the mirror was shoved in front of her face. And if this muggle mirror had been gifted with speech, Ginny knew it wouldn't have anything kind to say about her reflection.

Ginny's eyes widened at the sight. She let out an audible gasp, and the woman took it for a sign of pleasure. "Oh, I knew you'd like your new look! Doesn't she look marvelous!" the woman asked, turning to Harry.

Harry was clutching his side, and chocking back large gales of laughter. Ginny glared at him and then turned back to look again at the damage that the make-up woman had inflicted upon her face.

She had bright red paint on her lips, a color that contrasted horribly with her hair, and enough eyeliner to mark a charms essay with. She had lime green eye paint on, the color brought all the way up to her eyebrows. The good news though was that Ginny knew she could no longer see her pale complexion or her freckles, which would be good enough for Hermione.

Jumping out of the chair, Ginny stalked over to Harry. "Pay her for the stuff, but forget the eye paint," she mumbled. Harry walked over and did as he was asked, just as Mr. Weasley came back. He was clutching a box in his hand, as well as a very large red hat..

"It's a hair changing potion!" he told Ginny excitedly. "I thought Hermione could use it on her hair. And the hat as well."

Ginny actually smiled, then took the box and the hat and handed it to Harry. "Pay for this as well," she told him. "Then let's get out of here."

A few minutes later they had departed from the department store. Harry knew of a closer exit than the one they had come in, and was grateful that it avoided the toy store from earlier. So they headed off in a new direction.

Ginny was finding it oddly enticing at the looks people passed her. A few times teenage boys would do double takes, and she smiled a bit, feeling slightly confident at this sudden change of events. Muggle women obviously knew what they were doing with this make-up thing! Harry noticed the people staring too, and looked from the staring boys to Ginny, wondering what was going on.

"Harry, how does this work?" Mr. Weasley asked, snapping Harry out of his thoughts.

"It's a revolving door," he answered. "Watch me." Harry then stepped into the door, turned it and came out on the other side. He then came back, saying, "it's easy, come on." He took Ginny's hand in his, and they came out together on the sidewalk outside. Mr. Weasley followed, but he didn't have Harry to guide him, and so he kept spinning around inside. He was smiling, enjoying the sensation and the gadgetry muggles had come up with. Finally though, Harry managed to get Mr. Weasley out, who was beginning to look a little green.

* * *

"What on earth happened to you Ginny?" Mrs. Weasley asked as the three of them came in through the front door. 

"Scary muggle woman with make-up," she mumbled. Harry started laughing again and ducked up the stairs to Ron's room. Ginny, scowling after him, hurriedly walked into the kitchen and was surprised to find Hermione sitting at the kitchen table. She looked to be eating an apple tart.

"I was hungry," Hermione replied, answering before Ginny could ask. "And Fred and George left to go check on their shop, so I figured it would be safe to leave your bedroom." Hermione then noticed Ginny's face, and quickly covered her mouth to block the laughter. "What happened to you?" she asked, standing up get a better look.

Ginny scowled, and then set the shopping back on the table next to Hermione's apple tart. "The things I do for you, Hermione," she mumbled.

Hermione examined Ginny's face. "Did you get a make-over to show me if it would work or not?" she asked. "Because I can't see a single freckle on your face! This is marvelous! Oh, it's bound to cover the purple!" Hermione shrieked in glee and then sat back down and began pulling items out of the bag. The first item she pulled out was the box of hair dye that Mr. Weasley had found, and she let out another happy shriek, raising her hands into the hair and dropping the box onto the table.

Ginny smiled. "Glad to see you're thrilled, but how do I get this stuff off my face?"

"Scrub it off with water," Hermione suggested. "I would hope that would work.

Just then, Fred and George appeared with simultaneous _cracks_! Hermione spun around and glared at them. Ginny, who was just about to begin scrubbing the make-up off, splashed water down her front.

"Hey Ginny, what happened to your face?" George asked.

"What's it to the two of you?" she snarled.

"What's got your knickers in a twist?" Fred asked, turning to look at Hermione innocently.

"You both cause enough trouble," Hermione declared, then grabbed the bag of newly bought cosmetics and left.

Ginny glared at her brothers. "She's still rightfully angry at the two of you for what you did." She turned back to the sink to wash the make-up away.

George noticed the box of hair dye left behind, and he nudged his twin. Glancing at Ginny to make sure she couldn't see them, he examined the box and then smiled wickedly. Pulling out his wand, he quickly tapped the box three times, and then set it back down on the table. Apparating again, they left the room.

After Ginny had dried her face off, she snatched the hair dye that Hermione had left behind and hurried off to find Hermione. She checked the first bathroom, the one in which she had been turned purple and then checked the second bathroom with more luck. Hermione was sitting on the closed toilet lid, hugging her knees to her chest.

Hermione looked up as Ginny closed and locked the door. "I'm going to have nightmares about the other bathroom for months," she replied.

Ginny giggled. "Here," she said, handing Hermione the box of hair dye. "Do you want to try it?"

Hermione nodded enthusiastically. "I do _not_ want purple hair, even if it only lasts for thirty six hours! Let's give this a try."

And so they set to work. Hermione began to read the directions off of the back of the box as Ginny set to the task of de-purplizing Hermione's bushy mane. Neither of them had ever dyed their hair before and weren't exactly sure if they were following the steps correctly, but when they'd finally finished, Hermione's hair seemed to have regained it's old color.

"I think it worked," Ginny said, watching as Hermione rubbed a towel through her wet hair. Hermione was actually smiling a bit, looking at her locks of hair with hope.

"We'll find out better in the morning," she replied, but she looked rather excited by the turn of events. Fred and George were not going to get the better of her!

Packing away the supplies, they scurried back to Ginny's room and put away their things, leaving the make-up in the shopping back on top of Ginny's wardrobe. Crawling into bed, they turned out the lights, both of them feeling better about returning to Hogwarts tomorrow.

**A/N**: _Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed! __Chapter Four should be out soon and it's going to be loads of fun! Hogwarts Express and lots of mayhem in store! Stay tuned, and please review this chapter!_


	4. One Disaster Leads to Another

**A/N**: _Thanks for all the reviews! Once again, look at the bottom!_

**Disclaimer**: _see first chapter_.

**Love and War**

**Chapter Four: _One Disaster Leads to Another_**

Ginny woke up to find a bushy mane of red hair shrieking in front of her face.

"What on earth ?" she began, but then she recognized the shrieks of fear and disaster as Hermione's. "_Hermione_?" she asked, trying to be heard over the purple girl's cries. "Hermione, what happened?"

"I don't know!" she cried, pushing her hair out of her purple face. "I woke up and looked in the mirror to see if my hair was back to normal, and it's not - it's RED!"

Ginny wanted to laugh. She really did. Hermione had vividly red Weasley hair. But Hermione looked like a _very angry_ purple-skinned girl with flaming red hair. So Ginny didn't laugh, out of fear of injury.

"We followed the directions and everything!" Hermione wailed, climbing off of Ginny's bed now that she was awake. "I don't know what we did wrong!"

"Actually Hermione, it doesn't look that bad," Ginny said encouragingly. The younger girl quickly shut her mouth as Hermione snarled in her direction. It was then that Ginny noticed the time. "Why did you wake up at four thirty in the morning Hermione?"

"I was too excited. I was so sure last night that the hair dye has worked! Let's just hope the make-up covers this stuff, I can't take any more disasters!"

Shuffling out of bed, Ginny mad her way over to Hermione and hugged the poor girl who were older twin brothers had sworn vengeance on. "Let's get started on the make-up now then. The sooner we get started, the sooner we'll know." Ginny and Hermione quietly snuck out of Ginny's bedroom and headed for the better of the two bathrooms.

"Well," Hermione said when they were near finished. "How does it look?"

"You look like you've got one hell of a bad tan."

Just then someone started banging on the bathroom door. Hermione and Ginny jumped and then hastily started cleaning up the cosmetics all over the bathroom counter. "Give someone else a chance in there, will you? It's seven o'clock in the morning! How early did you wake up just to get first dibs?" Fred called from the other side of the door.

Hermione and Ginny froze, staring at one another with wide eyes. Hermione's hands immediately went up to her hair. She looked in the mirror, worrying her lip as she surveyed her appearance. "Of course!" she hissed so Fred wouldn't hear. "We cover the purple skin only to deal with red hair!"

"Shush!" Ginny prodded. "Quick! Take my robe and cover your head! I'll distract Fred long enough for you to get away without him noticing too much!"

Hermione complied, and ducked behind the door as Ginny opened it and stepped out into the hallway. "We woke up at four thirty, since you asked," she replied smoothly. She closed the door a bit on her way out, and Hermione heard their voices drift the opposite way of Ginny's bedroom. Quickly, she secured her temporary head-covering and bolted out of the bathroom.

"If you do anything else to her, you do realize she'll kill you?" Ginny was saying, keeping Fred's back to Hermione's hasty exit.

"Not if she can't tell the difference between me and George."

"That won't stop her. She'll just murder you both, and she'll be clever enough to make it look like an accident."

"She threatened us first; I don't think that's fair!"

"Well if you pull any more pranks on her, I'll tell Hermione how to tell you and George apart!"

Fred looked aghast. "You wouldn't! And how do you know? That's supposed to be a secret!"

Ginny flashed a big smile. "I'm not telling. But I will tell Hermione if you're not careful!" Cast a quick look behind Fred, Ginny was relieved to see Hermione disappearing down the hall.

Fred turned to his left see what she was looking at behind him. Ginny quickly ran to his right and followed after Hermione. "Hey!" Fred called, just catching sight of Ginny as she disappeared as well.

An hour later Mrs. Weasley began calling everyone down to breakfast. Platters of eggs and bacon were heaped high, and hands grabbed what they could as more people came to join the table. Fred and George Apparated into the kitchen just as Harry and Ron were walking in, and the collision caused a number of bruises and angry remarks.

"Hermione?" Ron asked. He was eyeing her warily, as was everyone else. Hermione was wearing the big floppy hat that Mr. Weasley had bought last night at the mall. Mrs. Weasley had been successful in turning it black, and for this Hermione was grateful. She could just imagine covering red hair with a red hat. "Hermione, what's with the big hat?" Ron asked.

"Good job stating the obvious," George said.

"I was just wondering -" Ron started to say, but Hermione turned her head and the brim of the hat knocked into his face.

"But really Hermione, why the hat?" Fred asked. "Were you unable to cover the hideousness of your -"

"Will you lot eat!" Mrs. Weasley demanded. "Maybe this year we can get to London in relatively good time!"

But it was still rather late when they finally left. Pig had managed to swallow another of Fred and George's inventions, but now he had sprouted rabbit ears. Ron stuffed the noise-some Pig in his cage and stormed down the stairs so fast he ran into Ginny, who tumbled the rest of the way down, landing quite harshly on the loads of trunks at the bottom.

A few more yells, lots more bruises, and a couple of angry scratches from Crookshanks later (who downright refused to be put in his basket), they had made the trip to King's Cross Station. With a half hour before the train was to leave, Mrs. Weasley had relaxed a good deal.

While Mr. and Mrs. Weasley went off to fetch trolleys, Fred and George put their heads together and began to whisper. Hermione, fearful of her hat blowing away had retreated to the safest corner she could find. Ginny followed her, the two of them wondering if the twins were planning something horrible yet again. It didn't take long to find out.

"Hermione, sweetie," Fred cooed. He was stalking over with innocent smile on his face. George was suddenly no where to be seen. Hermione, floppy hat flapping, looked for an exit. Ginny stood strong by Hermione's side.

"I won't bite Hermione," Fred replied. "Not hard at least. I just want to know what you're hiding under that hat of yours. Won't you be a doll and tell me?"

"You're impossible," Ginny huffed. Hermione, plucking up her courage put her hands of her hips and nodded.

"Watch it!" Ron suddenly yelled.

Fred dodged the line of fire just in time, but Hermione and Ginny were not so lucky. George had snuck up with a bucket of water, dousing the girls completely. Ginny sputtered a moment, and then shook her head, trying to rid her face of the water.

"Sorry about that Ginny," George was saying. "That wasn't meant to get you, but -"

"_More_ pranks on Hermione?" Ginny shrieked. "Haven't you done enough?" Ginny whipped at her eyes, then realized that Hermione wasn't moving. She couldn't see the girls face, since the floppy hat had sagged. "Hermione?" Ginny prompted, lifting the hat a bit of Hermione's head and peeking underneath. "You ok under there - oh no."

Ginny could now see why Hermione was not moving. The make-up they had worked so hard on earlier to conceal Hermione's skin had smeared when the water hit her face. Hermione's hands were now covered in purple and beige water droplets.

Things got worse then. As Mr. and Mrs. Weasley returned and began putting trunks on the trolley's, a strong gust of wind took the floppy hat from Ginny's hand and away it went, leaving Hermione's streaky face and red-dye job on her hair in plain sight for all.

"So THAT'S what you were hiding, Hermione!" George exclaimed loudly. Muggles turned to see what all the sudden fuss was about. Hermione, knowing that her face would attract more attention, pulled up the collar of her robes and hurried to hide somewhere. Ginny ran over and smacked her brothers.

"This is all your faults!" she yelled at the twins. Fred and George didn't even flinch. Both of them were still gapping at Hermione's appearance, unsure if they should laugh or torment her some more.

"You look like you got in a fight with some bubblegum," Harry said, trying very hard to smirk. Ron's mouth was hanging open; he looked highly amused by Hermione's new look.

"Hermione, that's not the color I bought for you," Mr. Weasley said. He walked over to the poor girl and patted her hair. "Red? What did you girls do wrong?"

Hermione didn't answer him. Hermione was glaring at both Fred and George, who were now busy howling with laughter.

By now, a lot of muggles had started staring and pointing at the small group. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley divided the group in two, hoping that by doing so they'd be able to sneak onto the platform a little easier. Mr. Weasley took Hermione, Ginny and Harry, leaving Mrs. Weasley to her sons, who she planned on kicking in the shins the whole time.

"You just stay between us all Hermione," Mr. Weasley said, keeping walking in front of the three of them. Hermione, her collar still up, was steaming. Ginny and Harry were sure they heard her mumbling underneath the collar of her shirt. It was clear Fred and George were in her hell.

As slyly as possible, since so many people were watching them, they slid onto the hidden platform and a second later came face to face with the gleaming scarlet engine that was the Hogwart's Express. Hermione always thought she'd be happy to see it.

"_Hermione_?" A high pitched girly shrieked sounded from behind them. Harry, Ginny and Hermione turned. Running towards them was Paravrti Patil and Lavender Brown, fellow Gryffinors in Hermione's year.

"Hermione, what happened to you?" Lavender asked. She eyed Hermione's bushy red locks of hair with disgust. It was Pavarti that noticed the mess on her face.

"Eww, what did you do to your face? You're all purple and, eww."

If looks could kill Hermione would have been charged with murder.

"Fred and George pulled a prank on her and the purple and red are the results," Ginny answered none too kindly. Just then, the twins came charging through the barrier at full speed and nearly ran over a small group of second years.

"I didn't know they were coming back," Lavender replied.

"Mum made them," Ginny said, watching as her older brothers ruffled the hair of one of the second year boys, who looked up at him with narrowed eyes and a scowl.

"I always thought they were cute," Parvarti said gushingly.

"Yeah," added Lavender, "In that adorably -"

"I don't want to hear this!" Ginny shrieked. Hermione gave a sudden squeal and hurried away. Harry and Ginny looked after her in confusion, and then they heard Fred and George.

"But Hermione, come back!" Fred called. "I think I found a lovely green dress that will clash elegantly with your current colors!"

"Give it a rest you two," Harry replied, shaking his head as Hermione ducked behind a luggage trolley. "Haven't you done enough to her?"

Fred looked aghast. "We haven't done anything!"

"It's not out fault she went and took a shower after we set up the prank!" said George innocently.

"Who were you planning to pull the prank on then?" Parvarti asked curiously. Lavender smiled and nodded next to her.

Fred and George exchanged looks. "We hadn't thought about who really -"

"-We just wanted to see if it worked first."

"And Hermione happened to be the lucky victim?" Ginny asked nastily.

"That's not our fault though, now is it?"

"Was it you that botched her hair color and made it turn red?" Ginny asked loudly.

Fred and George didn't answer her. "I think now is a good time to get our luggage into a carriage, don't you George?"

"Yes, I think you're right Fred. Let's go."

Ginny growled as soon as they were gone. "I hope Hermione beats them their own game!

* * *

After Hermione and Ron had gone to the Prefects carriage, they made their way to find Harry and Ginny again. Ron carried Pig, who still had bunny ears, and Hermione had put her Hogwarts robe over her head to hide her face, which she still hadn't fixed. 

A lot of people had asked her questions and looked at her funny. Draco Malfoy and Pansy Parkinson had snickered quite loudly and with that, word had quickly spread that Hermione was the current target of the Weasley twins who had returned to Hogwarts. The rumors only got worse the farther down the train she went.

"What you do Granger? Did you swallow an eggplant with one of their jokes inside of it or something?"

"I heard you were in the shower and they sprayed you with absinthe powder!"

"Is it true you're sleeping with one of them?"

"_Lavender_!"

"What? One of them hinted that they were, but who can tell them apart!"

"Well it's not true! How dare them…!" She stormed off, leaving Lavender and Parvarti standing in their compartment door. Ron hurried to keep up with Hermione's quick and angry paces. A few compartments down they found Harry, Ginny and Luna Lovegood all in one compartment. Sadly though, they were not alone.

"Hello Hermione, love," the twins replied in unison.

Hermione gnashed her teeth together. Narrowing her eyes, she looked at them and said through her clenched teeth, "Which one of you told Lavender and Pavarti that I was shagging one of you?"

"Why shag one when you can have us both?"

Hermione let out an angry hiss. "I'll just kill both of you then!" Quickly she pulled out her wand, and unsure which one to hex first, she moved her wand from one face to the next, wondering which hex she should use.

"I know how to tell them apart Hermione."

Fred and George swiveled around to look at a very smug Ginny. "You wouldn't dare!" Fred replied.

"How does she know?" George said loudly.

"You didn't tell him I knew, Fred?"

"AH _HA_!" Hermione yelled. "You're Fred!" she shrieked triumphantly. "You have got to be George!"

"Are you sure?" Fred asked.

"Oh, I can just ask Ginny how to -"

Just then, the trolley a sudden lurch and Hermione and Ron, who was still standing in the compartment doorway since Hermione had gotten in his way, fell over. Everyone else grabbed onto something to keep themselves in their seats.

"Why Hermione," Fred said, finding a fallen Hermione in his lap. "This _is_ a pleasant surprise!"

"Oh shut-up you prat," Hermione seethed.

"Oh so it is true!" a high-pitched squeal said from the doorway. Hermione looked over to find Lavender and Parvarti.

"You can't fool us Hermione! It's obvious," Lavender said. The two girls were grinning from ear to ear. Hermione on the other hand, was gawking stupidly.

"NO!" she cried. "No, you have it all wrong -"

"Just let it go Hermione! Admit it: you love…well, I'm not sure which one is which, but you love one of the Weasley twins!"

"I would be Fred," Fred answered, smiling broadly and hugging Hermione to him in a cuddly fashion. Hermione squirmed and tried to smack him but failed.

"Aww, you both are so cute!" Parvarti gushed. The two of them walked away giggling.

"Let. Me. Go!" Hermione shrieked, struggling to be released from Fred's strong grasp.

"Now is that any way to treat your boyfriend - OW!"

"One of these days Fred Weasley, you are going to owe me for all the misery you put me through!"

* * *

**A/N**: _Sorry if that seemed short, but the next chapter should be out soon and it will have plenty of prankage! __Thank-you to everyone who reviewed! __Please Review! Chapter Five should be out soon!_


	5. Differences and Disappearances

**A/N**: _First off - please promise not to throw things at me! Secondly - Hermione does not get her revenge yet! ducks thrown objects But she will have revenge in the next chapter! I swear!_

_The thank-you's to all my reviewers can be found at the bottom_.

**Disclaimer**: _I am not JKR, please don't sue_.

* * *

**Love and War**

**Chapter Five: _Differences and Disappearances.  
_**

Hermione was finally happy when the train stopped and they had lost Fred and George in the hustle of people. Ron, Ginny, Luna, Harry and Hermione all hopped in a carriage (Luna smiled and waved at one of the thestrals) and it was nice to finally be away from the chattering rumors that had quickly begun.

Lavender and Parvarti had aced perfection in making sure everyone knew that Hermione had been found snuggled into Fred Weasley's lap and that they were also an item. Hermione knew, as did her friends, that they'd be dodging and replacing these rumors for the next few days, maybe in the next few weeks if the twins could help it. Fred and George were likely to make up new ones just to harass Hermione some more.

"Red and purple doesn't suit you Hermione. You'd look better blue," Luna had commented bluntly, smiling away with her wide, surprised eyes. Hermione's scowl deepened, but she said nothing in reply to this statement.

"Ron, Ginny - your brothers are dead if they do anything else to me."

"We won't miss them," Ginny replied evenly, knowing it was best to just agree with her.

"I don't even care if it's just one of them that pull the next prank, both of them will die," Hermione said, with a lot of determination behind her voice.

"We understand Hermione, really, we do," Ginny said, gazing out the carriage window as they tumbled along the road.

"I mean, who can even tell them apart? If you can't tell them apart then I'll just have to punish both of them. It's not my fault they're exactly the same!"

At this, Ginny let out a muffled snigger. Hermione turned and looked at the petite red-head.

"What's so funny?" she demanded.

"Actually, there is a way to tell them apart," Ginny replied, her tone teasing.

Hermione's memory sparked up again at this. "Yes, you were saying so on the train earlier. They seemed surprised that you know, though."

"They had no idea I knew," Ginny giggled. "I found on accident and didn't bother to tell them that I knew their little secret. I threatened Fred that I'd tell you if they did any more pranks, but that was before we left for the station this morning."

"Well then you are obliged to tell me, since they both pranked me _again_!"

Suddenly the carriage stopped, and as Harry and Ron bustled out, Ginny looked to Hermione and replied, "I'll tell you later." Hermione nodded but looked sour about their interruption. Things were just starting to look up for her too!

* * *

"You want to do another prank?" George said incredulously. Fred merely nodded, an evil smirk showing in the corners of his face. "You do realize that's four jokes in two days on _one_ person!" 

"Yes, but it's Hermione!" Fred reasoned. He and George were seated at the Gryffindor table, awaiting the arrival of the new first years.

George glared at him. "All because she threatened us?" he asked. Fred nodded manically. "Ginny threatened us too; you realize that, don't you?"

"I'm aware of this. But this is Hermione's war. Ginny's our little sister -"

"- Our only sister -"

"- Exactly, and that's why we can get her back anytime we want to."

"Mum will kill us," George muttered.

"Don't worry about mum; we've got more important things to worry about."

"Like what?"

"Like how the hell Ginny found out about -"

"Will she tell Hermione?" George asked, suddenly alarmed. He turned to look at Fred and the bowed their heads further as Hermione, Harry, Ginny, and Ron walked past.

"Of course she will, they're not stupid!

"Is this why we're pranking Hermione _again_?"

"That's up to your opinion," Fred replied. Then he looked George in the face and asked, "Are you in, brother dearest?"

"Of course. Pass me the pouch with those pills and let's hope they work."

* * *

"A few start of term notices that I must give out, because the old faces forget and the new ones are unaware," Dumbledore remarked as he gave the Start-of-Term speech. The first years had been sorted (Gryffindor had twelve new students), and they were all waiting for Dumbledore to finish his speech as their stomachs rumbled. 

"Doubt he changes his speech must," George muttered in Fred's ear. "Let's find out." Fred winked at him in understanding.

"The Forbidden Forest is out of bounds to all students -" Fred, George, and Professor Dumbledore said in unison. Hermione passed the twins horrible looks.

"- Mister Filch has posted more items that are not to be used at Hogwarts. The list is attached to his office door, and you are free to check it at will."

"Lousy git," Fred mumbled.

"Quidditch tryouts will be posted on your House bulletin boards, as will Hogsmeade trips and club meetings," Dumbledore announced.

"Who made captain this year?" Fred asked. George only shrugged.

"And lastly, later in the school year, Hogwarts will be hosting a Spring Ball -"

"- Let's crash it!" George said excitedly.

"Shhh!" Ginny reprimanded.

"The Ball will only be held if the schools behavior is acceptable. All those fourth year and above are welcome. Now, I think it is time for you to all eat."

"Finally!" Ron exclaimed, and was welcomed with the sight of fresh food appearing on the silver platters before him. The new first years made audible gasps, but quickly dug in. Fred and George, each grabbing some pork chops, took quick glances at Hermione, and smiled innocently. Hermione failed to notice.

"She'll be angrier than an old hag," George whispered to Fred.

"I know," his twin replied, attempting to block a smile. "If only Lee were still around, he'd love a good laugh like this."

"You did fill the goblet with pumpkin juice, didn't you?" George asked, taking a sip his own goblet.

"Of course, you git."

Ginny watched as her twin brothers huddled together, whispering secretly. She tapped Hermione's arm.

"They're up to something. Be careful when we head up to the Tower."

Hermione glanced down the table at the twins. "I'd like to see them try and do another trick," Hermione said, trying to sound more confident than she felt.

"Well, you can guarantee that if anything goes wrong this year and that Spring Ball doesn't happen, you'll have a lot of angry girls ready to murder them." Hermione giggled at the thought.

"So, Hermione," Harry said, piercing a potato onto his fork, "are you looking forward to not being purple tomorrow?"

"Harry's right," Ginny remarked, "the dye only lasts for thirty six hours. By morning you should be as good as new."

"Except the hair," Hermione said, running her hand through her now red bushy mane.

"You'll just look like a Weasley for a few weeks, no big deal," Ron replied, shoveling some more chicken into his mouth. Hermione winced as bits of food flew from his mouth as he spoke. "Sorry," Ron said, finding the decency to blush.

Hermione reached for her goblet and took a sip. It was after she put the goblet down that she noticed Fred and George smirking at her from down the table. She immediately froze, glaring at them in alarm.

"What did you both do?" she demanded. Their grins widened.

"I said what -" Hermione started to say, but she felt an odd sort of pull in the corners of her mouth. She reached a hand up to her lips, and was shocked to discover that her lips had moved. Ginny looked at her and gave a short shriek.

"Hermione!" she cried. "You're mouth!"

Indeed, something had happened to her mouth. It had completely disappeared from her face.

She let out a scream, but it was muffled, as if someone had covered it. Her throat could issue noise, but she could not make it understandable. Her attempted scream though brought the attention of the entire Great Hall to silence.

Fred and George were laughing so hard they were crying. Harry and Ron, although feeling very sorry for their friend, couldn't help but laugh at the slight of a mouth-less, purple skinned, red-haired Hermione. They ducked their faces under the table to avoid her tantrum.

Hermione had stood up and was waving her fists at Fred and George. They merely laughed harder.

"Hermione, let me take you to the hospital wing," Ginny urged, trying to pull on her friends arm.

"This is priceless!" Fred gasped through his laughter, clutching his side. George had toppled off the bench already.

Hermione let out another muffled scream of revenge. It sounded as if she was gagged, and the twins howled with peels of laughter all over again. Everyone knew she was cursing their utter existence, even though she wasn't speaking any actual words; the message was clear nonetheless.

"You are both dead, you realize that, don't you?" Ginny said to the twins. They were too busy laughing to pay her any mind. Ginny finally smacked Ron and Harry on the side of the head, and the three of them hauled Hermione off the bench and out of the Great Hall.

"Where do they come up with the ideas for such pranks?" Ginny wondered aloud as the three of them dragged a kicking Hermione off to the hospital wing. She was still attempting speech, her muffled screams of rage echoing strangely off the stone.

"No idea," Ron answered. "But we're going to have to take a few of their jokes and use it on them."

"I agree," Harry said, as he grabbed Hermione's ankles and hoisted her entirely off the floor. A sharp kick nearly made him drop her, but Hermione was too enraged to even realize.

Madam Pomfrey was not at all happy to see students on the first day. "Classes haven't even begun and I already have a patient!"

"Sorry," Ron muttered. "But you'll get used to us, I'm sure."

"Yeah," Ginny continued. "Fred and George are back."

"Oh no! Anything but those two terrors! If they come in here looking for my help, I'm sending them straight to Albus for him to cure! I won't have them be my patients for eight years straight!"

Hermione sat grumbling and mumbling on a bed, as Madam Pomfrey went looking for a cure. Harry and Ron had headed up to the dormitories to try to find out the password, promising they'd come back and tell them later.

"Here," Ginny said, searching through a bedside table for a piece of parchment. She grabbed a bottle of ink and a quill from Madam Pomfrey's desk as well. "Write out what you plan to do my brothers. I can't understand a word you're trying to say to me."

Hermione was more than pleased to get her ideas out. She scribbled furiously, the scratching of the quill the only sound for awhile in the hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey was having a hard time finding a cure that didn't require putting it in Hermione's mouth, seeing as how she didn't have one.

When she finally did return, she carried a jar of some yellow goop, and sat down on the side of Hermione's bed. She took an odd glance at Hermione's face, and then pulled out her own wand. "Must I even ask why you are purple, dear?"

Hermione's eyes narrowed as she remembered. Ginny was the one to answer. "A prank my brothers did."

Madam Pomfrey gave a nod of understanding. She tapped Hermione's face with her wand and the left over make-up vanished. "I'm not sure I can cure the purple -" she began to say, but Hermione held up a scrap of parchment that declared: "_It'll wear off in less than twelve hours_."

"Ahh, I'll leave it be then so we can avoid any possible screw-ups," she answered, and Hermione tried to smile, but then remembered she had no lips to show for it.

"And what about your hair…I do remember it as brown, right?"

"Their second prank," Ginny answered.

"So this would be their third prank or her?" Madam Pomfrey asked, a little disbelieving.

"Fourth, if you count rumors."

Madam Pomfrey's eyes widened and she looked at Ginny as if she'd grown two heads. "Anyway," Madam Pomfrey continued, clearing her throat, "you're mouth should be back in a little while, this doesn't take very long, I promise." Hermione jumped as she applied the yellow goop to where her lips would be; it was very cold.

Ten minutes later, Hermione had been awarded with speech once more, although her mouth would not reach its normal size until the morning. Madam Pomfrey had also warned her not to open it too wide, because the corners would tear since they were still healing. Ginny did much of the talking on the walk back to Gryffindor Tower, Hermione murmuring along.

Lips barely moving, Hermione said, "We must think of better pranks."

"I agree," Ginny replied, "but it'll take a lot of work. Those two may not have scored well on their exams, but they know how to pull a joke. They are clever wizards in that respect."

Hermione suddenly paused, and her new mouth curved into a sly grin.

"What did I say?" Ginny asked, suddenly very afraid. "Hermione?"

"Wizards…they won't know many muggle products…oh, this could be fantastic - OW!"

"You were warned not to open your mouth too wide," Ginny scolded gently as a corner of Hermione's new lip cracked slightly. Hermione rubbed at the pain, and the two girls kept walking. When they reached the portrait of the fat lady, they found Harry and Ron waiting.

"Password is "gobble-de-gook," Ron replied. "And why are you grinning like a nutter Hermione?"

"She has a plan," Ginny answered. The four of them clamored through the portrait hall, following a suddenly very gleeful Hermione. Fred and George were in their usual corner, hunched over a sheet of parchment. Hermione suspected it had nothing to do with Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. Squaring her shoulders, she flounced across the room and up the staircase to the girls dormitory. Harry, Ron and Ginny watched as Hermione skipped off to bed.

"She's still purple, she'll have red-hair until it grows out, her mouth disappeared, and she's suddenly _happy_?" Ron asked.

"Ginny, what did you suggest to her to make her so…so…cheerful?" Harry prodded, unsure of how to voice his question. Ginny though was looking just as unsure about things herself.

"I'm not sure," she answered slowly. "But I'm quite scared for Fred and George. They're not going to be seeing this coming, I'm afraid."

* * *

**A/N**: _Her revenge is coming! Next chapter folks! Thanks for reading, and especially to those who have reviewed!_


	6. Cure for the Itch

**A/N**: _Lemme first say how sorry I am for the delay. School bit me a good one, and writer's block halted me. SORRY! I really am. Updates will be highly irregular until my classes end in mid-May. But please don't abandon me!_

_Lemme also say I do NOT like the new rating system._

_Moving on…**Hermione is finally getting her revenge in this chapter**! Thank-you for being patient and I hope it meets your satisfaction!_

_I'm not quite happy with this chapter, which is one reason why it took so long to be posted. It just didn't want to get written, and once it was written I didn't like it anyway. So blame the delay on my muse Elanor, she's a rightful old crone who truly enjoys tormenting me._

_Also, I have no clue what year Alicia Spinnet is in, so she's in this chapter as a seventh year. If I'm wrong, let me know. I'm pretty sure she's already left by now, but I'm not sure, and I also don't have the patience to make up another Gryffindor Chaser. Again - I'm sorry if I'm wrong._

_The thank-you's to all my reviewers can be found at the bottom_.

**Disclaimer**: _I am not JKR. I only play with them.

* * *

_

**Love and War**

**Chapter Six: _Cure for the Itch  
_**

"Hermione, that's really gross," Lavender said, pointing at the Hermione's bed.

"I don't care," Hermione said. But in truth, she did care, and was rather worried about her bed. The purple color had indeed worn off during the night, but it seemed to have _leaked_ off, and was now all over her bed sheets. They were now dyed bright maroon. But Hermione was glad that at least her body was back to normal - the color had finally rinsed off in the shower she had taken this morning, ironically coming off the same way it had come on two days prior.

"Well we do care Hermione," Parvarti replied as she turned away from the mirror she had been looking in, still combing back her hair.

"Yes, well there isn't much I can do about it, is there? Blame the mess on Fred and George; make them clean it if it bothers you both so much."

Lavender and Parfait traded looks. "Well one of them _is_ your boyfriend, I'm sure they'd be more than willing," Lavender remarked with a giggle.

"I am not dating either of them!" Hermione said hotly.

"Sure, Hermione," Parvarti said. Neither of them seemed to believe her.

"We always knew you'd end up with a Weasley," Lavender giggled.

"We just had no clue that it would be one of Ron's older -"

"-And cuter-" Lavender added.

"Stop that!" Hermione demanded. She gave a huff, and, snatching up her book bag and a roll of parchment, she headed out of Gryffindor Tower and up to the Owlery.

She had woken up early today to take a shower, relieved that the only thing currently wrong with her was her hair color. She had been awake for most of the night, devising her revenge on the blasted Weasley Twins for all the mess they'd caused her in the past three days. It was a shame so many people let them get away with everything. But the truth was that they were of legal age to do as their own will saw fit. Mrs. Weasley could only do so much, and they'd basically come back to Hogwarts so that they could continue with the shop, not just because she had forced them to.

Letter still clutched in her hand, Hermione opened the door to the Owlery and peeked around for an owl. Pig immediately gave a loud, shrill hoot and flew down to her. Hermione giggled at the sight of the bunny ears, although they had shrunk in size during the night.

Eyeing the miniature owl, Hermione debated whether to use him or not. Deciding that he did seem eager for work, she tied to letter to his leg, smiling to herself as he danced around excitedly. She then led the hooting bird to the window. "Good luck, Pig," she said, watching as he flew away, bunny ears flopping madly in his flight.

Hopefully her mother would reply quickly to her letter; she had said that it was needed for extra credit after all…

She found herself skipping down the corridor on her way to breakfast. So when Harry, Ron and Ginny found her at breakfast later that morning, Hermione was in rather good spirits.

"Hello!" she greeted them. She pushed some eggs onto her fork and went back to reading her Charms book, which was propped up against a juice jug. The three of them noticed that the purple coloring had indeed worn off during the night, but her hair was still bright red.

"So - err - Hermione…you seem rather cheery this morning," Ginny pointed out. "What caused the change?"

"Oh, nothing really," Hermione replied, still reading her book.

"But what about Fred and George -" Ron began to say, but quickly stopped when Hermione looked up furiously.

"I am not going to let them get to me," she declared.

"Well after yesterday I'd have thought that that would be hard," Harry added. "I mean, they did dye your body purple -"

"-And turn your hair red -" Ron offered.

"-And make your mouth disappear -"

"-And spread rumors that you're shagging one of them," Ginny put in as well.

"That's not the point!" Hermione huffed, slamming her fork down on the table. A second later she composed herself. "I am not going to give Fred and George the satisfaction of my annoyance. Besides," she continued, and her oddly cheery smile returned, "I feel like taking matters into my own hands."

At this, Harry, Ron, and Ginny exchanged curious glances. They said nothing else as their schedules started being handed out. The four of them studied them for a moment, looking to see what they had that day.

"Binns, followed by Snape in the morning," Ron muttered.

"Well at least we have Hagrid in the afternoon," Hermione reasoned. She put her schedule down and went back to reading her Charms book.

"I've got Herbology first with the Ravenclaws," Ginny said.

"Tell Loony Lovegood I said hello!" Ron sniggered. Ginny elbowed him in the side.

"She's not that bad Ron," Harry replied, watching as Ginny smiled at him. Ron rubbed the sore spot Ginny had hit.

"I know," Ron mumbled. "She's just…_loony_, is all. No harm in mentioning she's off her rocker, is there?"

"Hey, Ginny?" Hermione suddenly asked, sounding eerily innocent.

Ginny turned to look at the other girl. "Yes, Hermione?"

"You never told me how to tell Fred and George apart."

Ginny's eyes lit up. "That's right; I never got the chance last time because your mouth disappeared."

Hermione leaned forward and said, "You will tell me, right?"

"Of course Hermione! It's real easy actually. You see, they -"

But Ron suddenly leaned into their conversation and interrupted. "Do you want Fred and George to know that you told Hermione?"

"What? Why?" Hermione and Ginny said in unison. Ron nodded his head in the direction of the doors and the four of them saw that the twins were arriving for breakfast.

Ginny sighed. "It looks like we'll have to try this again later Hermione." Hermione scowled, reluctantly getting up and following her friends. But thinking back to the letter she sent earlier, she smiled brightly as she passed the twins, who stared at her curiously as they sat down where the four of them had just left.

"You don't suppose she's up to something, do you Fred?" asked George.

"Of course she is," Fred answered, buttering a roll and shoving the whole thing in his mouth.

"You don't seem worried."

"Should we be? It's only Hermione."

"You do remember Ron and Harry's warning, right?" George asked, flinging some oatmeal at a noisy first year.

"It'll take Hermione lots of time in the library to come up with a clever plan to get back at us, and that could take weeks. After she figures out a prank, she'll have to plan it out, and it'll be a couple of months before she'll put any of it into action."

George simply stared at his twin for a moment, pondering what he had just said. "What makes you so sure? Hermione can get her homework done way before its due, _and_ she can write three extra sheets of parchment. Why do you think it'll take Hermione months to plan a prank?"

"Hermione's a lot like Percy; she wouldn't know a proper and vengeful prank even if it was prancing about in a purple tutu and singing '_I'm the King of Madagascar_.' She'll want to ace this like she aces everything else. But, this is you and I she's up against, so there's no reason to worry at all."

"So good luck to her, I suppose?"

"Exactly!"

"Sure Fred, whatever you say."

* * *

"It's _Saturday_ Hermione!" Ron moaned as he, Hermione and Harry left the common room. "There is no need for you to go to the library again! You've been there every spare minute all week!" 

"Ron's right, Hermione," Harry replied. "Come outside with Ron and me, we're helping Ginny practice for Chaser tryouts next week. She'd probably like to see you for some moral support."

"I can't," Hermione reasoned. "I have all this work to do -"

"It's only been the first week of classes though Hermione!"

"I want to stay ahead!"

"Please Hermione -" Harry started to say, but Hermione ducked quickly into the library, calling out a quick, "I'll see you both at lunch!" Madam Pince gave Hermione a scolding glare for the noise.

Hermione had been so anxious to get into the library ever since breakfast earlier. Her mom had finally sent the package she had requested, and she'd hastily hidden it in her robes so that nobody would ask about it. Now, she could do some proper research and really plan her prank. She'd been theorizing that it would work accordingly, but she'd needed this package to be sure.

Walking up and down aisles of books, she rummaged among some tattered texts. She found some charms books, and settled into a table in the back of the library. Time flew by and Hermione was vaguely aware of everything around her. She hid the package in her lap, away from any possible prying eyes. She had a sneaking suspicion that Fred and George would try to find out what she was up to in the library, besides homework.

Many tests and several sore fingers later, Hermione smiled triumphantly. Her theory was working better than she thought. Checking the time, she saw that she would need to hurry if she was to find Harry and Ron in the Great Hall. The good news was that she'd been able to finalize the first stage of her plan perfectly.

Now all she had to do was raid the laundry.

* * *

"I don't get you Hermione," Ron said. 

"What's your problem now, Ron?"

"Last weekend you holed yourself up in the library and refused to join us on the Quidditch pitch. Now this weekend you're all excited and anxious about coming to our first practice. It's not like you."

"I'm allowed to leave the library," Hermione huffed.

"I never said -" Ron started to say, but Hermione interrupted.

"I want to see how good Ginny is," she declared, and then flounced ahead of Harry and Ron. The two of them paused for a moment, and looked at each other.

"She's been acting strangely all week," Ron remarked.

"What do you suppose got into her?" Harry asked.

"It's not house elf rights, that's for sure. Come on, let's follow her." Hermione had already reached the Quidditch pitch by the time the two boys walked after her.

Hermione placed herself among the stands, her book bag beside her, except she had knitting needles, wool, and a single text book inside it. Her wand was already in her hand, waiting for the right moment. She watched as Fred scratched the back of his neck.

She aimed her wand at the knitting needles, watching as they took to the air and started clicking away. She concentrated on that until she saw the scarlet robes reach the center of the pitch below, then she left the needles to their own devices. Fred and George had just seen her.

Fred had nudged George just before they pushed off into the air. "What's she doing here?" he asked suspiciously.

"She's here to see Ginny's practice," Harry replied from Fred's left.

"There're more people up there than usual though," George said quietly, scratching his upper arm.

"What? Did all of Gryffindor Tower come to oversee our first practice?" Fred demanded. The twins exchanged glances, then looked curiously at Ron and Harry.

"What's she up to?" George demanded.

"Who?" Ron asked.

"Hermione!" the twins said in unison.

"We haven't a clue," Harry replied honestly. Fred and George seemed unconvinced.

"Are you boys even paying me the slightest bit of attention?" asked Katie Bell, their new team captain. Harry, Ron, Fred and George immediately faced her, then prepared for practice.

Hermione watched from up in the stands. She could barely make out Lavender and Parvati's gossip from behind her, or hear Dean Thomas and Seamus Finnegan's excited talk on the new team members and their brooms. She couldn't make out Colin and Dennis Creevey's chatter about Ginny's skill either. Hermione had one thought on her mind, and as the seven players took to the air, she slyly pointed her wand in the twins' direction and whispered the incantation. Smiling brightly, she went back to her knitting, waiting for the show.

Fred suddenly felt very funny. If he'd been itchy earlier it was nothing compared to how he felt now. Aiming the bludger in George's direction, he scratched at his knee and then moved his fingers down his leg, fruitlessly trying to get rid of the itch.

"What the -" he started to say, but the bludger flew passed him and just barely missed his nose. Breathing a sigh of relief, he turned and chased after it, but slowed again when his stomach and upper arms demanded that they be scratched. He wiggled a little on his broom, attempting to scratch the back of his thigh as he flew, but only aggravated the itch further. Katie shot him a questioning look.

Flying after his twin, Fred noticed that he seemed to be having the same problems he was having. He put on some speed and flew up next to him.

"Hey, George!" Fred yelled as he aimed the single bludger they were using away from Harry.

George was carefully balancing himself on his broom with one hand as his other reached to scratch his back. "Yeah Fred?" he called back.

"Are you as itchy as I am?" George asked, watching as Fred reached for a particular spot on his lower back. George's entire body was horribly itchy. He'd felt this way ever since he put his Quidditch robes on, but as soon as he was in the air it had hit full force.

The bludger flew just past Harry, and the twins forced themselves to forget about their current itchy-ness and focus on the practice. Katie, Ginny, and Alicia Spinnet had a hard time staying in balance because their two beaters were doing such a horrendous job with the bludger. The twins kept pausing to scratch, or would miss their target with the bat. They finally stopped in midair close to the ground, the practice continuing above them.

"What the hell is going on?" Fred asked his twin. He ducked just in time and missed the bludger, but it flew up and nearly toppled Ginny right off her broom again.

"I don't know!" George yelled back. "I think it's gotten worse though!"

"Well how the -?" Fred started to say, but the bludger came whirling back and whacked into the back of his broom. Fred was just able to hold on with one hand as the rest of his body flew off. He dangled in the air, his right hand clutching the boom handle. He kept scratching as he slowly swung back and forth.

"What is going on?" Katie demanded, flying over quickly. "Your sister was nearly thrown off her broom by the bludger and now you're dangling there and - why are you scratching like that?"

"It's - so - _itchy_!" Fred cried out, his hand holding the broom slipping. George tried to help his twin, but by know he'd dropped the bludger bat and was using both his hands to scratch away.

"Are you both okay?" Harry asked. He had the snitch already in his closed fist and was eyeing the twins warily.

Fred glanced up at the stands and saw Hermione's hands trying to cover her laughter. George turned and looked up at her too, and then turned back around when he heard a dull thud. He found his twin sprawled out on the ground below, scratching away. His broom had fallen on top of him.

"Going - to kill - Hermione," Fred replied angrily.

Harry narrowed his eyes in confusion, then looked to the stands. "Where'd she go?" he asked, and the twins turned to look as well.

By now, the entire team had halted practice and was staring at the scratching twins. Ron flew up between Harry and Ginny and asked, "What's wrong with them?"

Harry shrugged and answered, "I have no idea. They're blaming this on Hermione though."

"Well, here she comes," Ginny interrupted, landing on the ground. "It looks like they can ask her themselves."

Indeed, Hermione had appeared on the pitch and was still trying to stifle her laughter. Her face was red and her hand was covering her mouth as she stumbled towards them, nearly falling over in glee. The rest of the team had followed Ginny and were standing on the ground around Fred. George was still up in the air, one hand on the back of his neck and the other was attacking his knee.

"W-what did - you - do?" Fred demanded.

Hermione stopped hiding her laughter at the sight of the twins. Fred looked even angrier and more aggravated then before.

"Not - f-f-funny!" he stuttered, scratching the side of his face.

George fell off his broom just then and nearly landed on Harry. He was frantically scratching his upper thigh.

"Hermione -?" Ginny started to say, but George rolled over and knocked into her legs, toppling her into Harry, who luckily caught her.

"What is going on?" Katie demanded, irked that valuable practice time was being wasted.

"Help - what - make - _stop_!" George cried out. He was still rolling around on the ground and smashed right into his twin.

"No!" Hermione said, finally calming down a bit although she was still smiling. "It serves you both right!"

"Hermione, what did you do?" asked Parvati. She, along with everyone else who'd been watching in the stands, had followed Hermione down to the pitch. Lavender and Parvati were standing right behind her, looking down at the Weasley twins in shock.

"Itching powder," Hermione replied coolly.

"What?" Ron asked, a dumb expression on his face.

Harry looked at her in surprise. "Where did you get itching powder?" he asked. "It's a muggle product."

"I owled my mum and told her to send me some," Hermione answered.

"_Make it stop_!" George howled.

"How in the world…?" Ginny asked.

"I put a spell on the itching powder. It was quite complicated, since I had to stick it to their robes and then make sure that it would get itchier and itchier -"

"Oh Hermione!" Lavender wailed. "How could you do that to your own boyfriend?"

"I am not -!"

"_Finite Incantatem_!" Parvati shouted, pointing her own wand at the twins. They both gave loud cries of pain and started scratching harder.

Hermione turned to look at Lavender and Parvati. "Nice try, but you've just made it worse," she replied. "Only the doer of the spell can lift it."

"Then - lift - it!" Fred shouted, attempting to lift himself up. George rolled over again and knocked Fred to the ground.

"Why should I?" Hermione demanded. "You deserve this! After all the horrendous things you've done to me and all the pranks you've pulled, I believe this is fair punishment."

"Hermione, don't you think -" Ron started to say, but Hermione flashed angry eyes at him and he immediately shut his mouth.

"How in the world did you make it so painful?" Harry asked.

"A few spells and charms, really," Hermione replied. "I smuggled their Quidditch uniforms -"

"Hey!" Fred and George cried out indignantly.

"- And I attached the itching powder to their robes. When I gave the incantation, the itching powder became eight times stronger and will attack their skin until the reversal spell is cast by the same person who started it."

"You are so cruel Hermione," Lavender remarked in a hushed tone.

Katie gave a sigh of defeat. "Well, I guess practice is over. We'll try again Monday after dinner." Her and Alicia shouldered their brooms and walked off to change.

Fred and George were now whimpering in agony. "Hermione….please!"

"Hmph!" Hermione replied, and walked off the pitch. Lavender and Parvati hurried after her, both shouting about how unfair she was being.

Ron, Harry and Ginny exchanged glances, then looked down upon the twins wriggling forms.

"They look so uncomfortable," Ginny said softly.

"Yeah," Harry added. "Wish there was something we could do."

They both looked at Ron, who had a maniacal grin on his face. "We did warn them."

"So, what do you suppose we should do with them?" Harry asked. "Can we really just leave them here like this?"

"If Hermione can, of course we can," Ginny answered. Harry and Ron quickly followed after her as she walked away. The crowd that had gathered slowly followed, mumbling among themselves about what had just happened.

"ARRRGGGG!" Fred screamed, scratching at his lower back. "My crotch is never going to be the same."

"You and your bloody theory!" George yelled back. "'_It'll take her months to get back at us…' _I'm going to kill you for your bloody theory!"

"Don't - _yeow_! - don't blame - me!" Fred said as he scratched away.

"We're going to have scratch marks for weeks, thanks to her," George whimpered.

"We need - a new - plan -"

"No we don't!"

"Then - what - do you - suggest - _ouch_! - we do?" Fred shot back angrily.

Silence followed this question as both of them continued scratching at the mess Hermione had made. Their cries of pain and aggravation were all that were heard for a little while.

"How are we going to get back to the castle?" George asked.

Fred seemed to realize this problem as well. There was nobody around anymore. "Impudent wench," Fred growled.

* * *

**A/N**: _And the mayhem has begun! Again, I'm am very sorry this chapter was not out sooner; I really had trouble with it and I hope you are all happy with Hermione's revenge._

_My thanks to everyone who reviewed so far, and boy was it many of you!_

_**And YES there will be romance** in here! Patience on that, I'm building up the humor! Romance has a back seat for now. And if your curious as to which twin will get to be with Hermione, check out my profile - it says who on there!_


	7. The Gossip Queens Strike Again

**A/N**: _Hello All! Thanks a million for the reviews! I'm sure by now you know where to find my responses to them…_

_Anyway: the poll was such fun! Not many people responded, but to those that did, thanks so much for your opinions. The next poll as well as my answer can be found at the end!_

_Please read and review! Thanks everyone!

* * *

_

**Love and War**

**Chapter Seven**: **_The Gossip Queens Strike Again_**

"Hermione, _please_!"

"Make it stop!"

"We'll do anything!"

Hermione finally turned around to face the twins, who lay withering and complaining in the Entrance Hall. They had somehow managed to crawl up from the Quidditch pitch, and upon their arrival at the castle doors, they had come across the trio and Ginny leaving the Great Hall from lunch.

"Hermione, we're _begging_ you!" Fred hollered pitifully. He started scratching his ankle with both hands and promptly lost his balance. George was already on the ground and cushioned his twins fall.

Ron was looking at his brothers with utter excitement. "Hermione," he said, sounding awestruck. "Hermione, you have my twin brothers at your mercy! Listen to them beg! They've never begged for anything before!"

"This is a one time thing," grumbled George.

"Free us! You've had your payback -"

"- And we're sorry -"

"- So please let us out of this!"

"It _hurts_!"

Hermione stood there with two wriggling, identical masses scratching at her feet. She folded her arms across her chest and glared at them. "No," she replied, and started walking away, exiting the doors and heading outside.

"_WHAT_?" shrieked Fred. Ron, Harry and Ginny backed away quickly.

"She - has - got - to be - kidding!" scratched George.

"Get back here you wicked wench!" screamed Fred, running after Hermione as best he could with itchy ankles. Hermione paused long enough to look over her shoulder and see Fred chasing her. She began to move away quickly, scrambling backwards, but Fred reached out and snatched one of her arms, and pulled. Hermione tried to pull her arm back, but instead tripped backwards and began to fall. Fred lost his balance as well, and the two of then rolled in a heap down the hill to Hagrid's hut.

"Hermione!" Ginny yelled. She pushed George out of her way and ran after Fred and Hermione. Ron and Harry watched in amusement from the castle doors with George scratching his legs beside them.

"Ouch! Get off me!" Hermione shrieked.

"This is entirely your fault!" Fred snapped.

"That's my leg you're scratching!"

"Like it matters anyway."

"Are you both okay?" Ron called down to them. Neither of them seemed to hear him though. Ginny stopped when she reached them, but they paid her no heed either.

"If you hadn't turned me purple none of this would have happened!"

"Nobody told you to take a shower then!"

"You and your damn pranks! You've done more cruel jokes than you have freckles!"

"I'll try and grow more freckles then so the numbers are even, will that please you?"

"No. Now get off me!"

"I'm scratching my legs! It's not my fault you're in their way!"

"I said get _off_!" Hermione let out an angry shriek and swatted at Fred's head. Ginny quickly stepped in and seized her arms and hauled her to her feet.

"Hermione, just spare them," Ginny reasoned. "They're both going to be sore for at least a week. Besides," she added, lowering her voice a bit, "if you leave them alone for awhile I'll be able to tell you how to tell them both apart."

"Hey! What are you both whispering about?" Fred demanded, attempting to scratch both his stomach and his back at the same time.

"I was informing Hermione about poisoning darts."

"Poisoning darts?"

"Yes, poisoning darts. What's it to you anyway?" Ginny snapped. Fred immediately backed off and went back to his itchy body. Ginny turned back to Hermione and said coaxingly, "Don't you think they've deserved enough?"

"You listed everything yourself! They've changed my body color and dyed my hair red, they made my mouth disappear, and now Lavender and Parvati think I'm dating one of them, if not both!"

"You made them itchy with a muggle product they've never even heard of," Ginny replied.

"It's _itchy_!" Fred whined at their feet. Hermione sent a kick in his direction and missed.

The next second George landed with a loud "Oof!" next to Fred, having been rolled down the hill courtesy of Harry and Ron, who were running down the slope after him.

"Just spare them, Hermione," Ginny urged. "I'm pretty sure they've learned their lesson after this. I've never seen either of them beg before, so they must be at your mercy."

Hermione thought about this for a moment. Sure, she'd gotten her revenge, and indeed it felt great to have them realize she could prank with the best of them. She didn't want the glory feeling to end yet though. She was also afraid that they'd try to get back at her once she gave in.

"Hermione…?" Ginny asked. She looked expectantly at the girl.

"Fine," she replied evenly, pulling out her wand.

"No!" demanded Ron. "I like them like this, make it permanent!"

"We - will - kill you," grumbled an itchy George.

"_Finite Incantatem_!" Hermione said, pointing her wand at their scratching forms. Fred and George immediately let out whoops of happiness, both of them falling to the ground and remaining still.

"Are you both alright?" Ginny asked, staring at them.

"Mhph," came a reply, the sound muffled by the ground.

Hermione raised an eyebrow. "There will still be side effects," she added. When neither of them said anything, Hermione gave a shrug, and walked up the hill and back to the castle. The other three followed her lead. Ron looked a little downhearted as he cast one last look at his brothers.

"We're free," Fred said, pushing himself up of the earth.

"My body will never be the same though," George grumbled. "Is that what she meant by side effects?"

Fred was about to answer when he quickly closed his mouth and looked at his arms. "I feel twitchy."

George paused and looked at his own arms and body. "I feel tingly. This is a very strange feeling. We should ask her how she did this and make a product out of this. We'd sell a fortune!"

"She'd demand profit for this as well," Fred pointed out.

"Most likely, yes."

"Let's figure out how to get rid of this itch entirely and then we can think about selling it."

Together, they hurried back up to the castle and bustled into the Great Hall, hoping to catch the end of lunch. Unfortunately, lunch had ended already, so they headed for the kitchens instead, only to be halted by Filch.

"What are you both doing down here?" he barked. "You don't belong down here. You're both Gryffindors. Back up to your Tower you rotten tricksters before I give you both detentions!"

"He's a tad touchy, ain't he?" George grumbled as they headed up a flight of stairs.

"Can't blame him. I'm sure he was thrilled when we left."

Wandering back up to Gryffindor Tower, Fred and George reminded themselves of Hermione's clever prank.

"We would have seen that coming if you hadn't underestimated her," George pointed out.

"How was I supposed to know that there's a muggle product called "itchy powder"? Fred kicked at a suit of armor, which complained loudly. "She's really something. A little too brilliant for her own good, I think."

"What are you getting at?" George replied, knowing that funny tone in his twin's voice.

"She owes us. Our pranks weren't _that_ bad!"

"We did four pranks on her Fred," his twin reminded

"So?"

"We turned her body purple, we caused her hair to turn red, we made her mouth disappear and we're very closer to publicly humiliating her."

"So?"

"I think we're pretty even right about now."

"She still owes us. Just a nice backrub, or even a better counter-curse. The one she used isn't working too well. I'm not asking for much. Besides, she's a good girl - she should pity us," Fred reasoned.

"Ginny's forcing her to pity us, I say."

"We didn't do anything to her that caused bodily damage! She's awfully lucky I'm still able to walk, although going to the loo will be an interesting experience when that time comes around."

"Thank-you, brother dear, for sharing that with me," George remarked sourly, squeezing his eyes shut.

"Well, we won't do anything else to her, so long as she agrees not to do anything to us," Fred continued. "We'll be even after she offers us backrubs. I don't want to keep getting her angry. It's never any fun when she's angry - she just takes away the enjoyment out of everything. I wouldn't be surprised if I wake up tonight and find myself shriveled from all the scratching I've done!"

"If you could kindly shut-up about your willie, it would be greatly appreciated," George remarked with a twinge.

Having reached the portrait of the Fat Lady, they gave the password and hurried in, hoping to rummage through their supplies and find extra Canary Creams. They'd take turning into birds over starvation any day.

Outside in the hallway, Lavender and Parvati tiptoed out of the shadows, both suppressing giggles.

"Did you hear them?" Lavender gushed. "What do you think will happen if Hermione really did do them bodily harm?"

"For her sake, I hope she didn't! I'm sure she'd get lonely in bed," Parvati replied, a huge grin spreading over her face. "It can't be much fun when your lover can't please you!"

"We have to go tell her!" Lavender said. "Come on, I'm sure she's in the library…"

* * *

Dinner later that night started off normal enough. The twins made sure to sit far enough away from Hermione, in case she still wanted to let off steam. They were still twitching from the after-effects of the spell anyway. Hermione though, was perfectly content to see them sit several seats down from her. 

"How did you ever get the idea to attack them with itching powder anyway?" Harry asked, spearing a potato with his fork.

"I'm not sure really," Hermione said thoughtfully. She watched as Ron made the noises of a starving man as he ate his chicken. Turning away slightly put off, she said, "I thought of tickling charms, but Fred and George would have immediately counter-cursed that. So I decided to use my muggle background as an advantage."

"They'll never forget it," Ginny said with a smile. "As a matter of fact, I think they're still feeling it."

"Oh, they are," piped in Lavender. She and Parvati were sitting across from Ginny and looking positively delighted about something.

"How do _you_ know this?" Hermione asked.

"We heard them talking earlier," Parvati supplied, lazily swirling her soup with her spoon. "I didn't know you gave your boyfriend backrubs."

"I am not dating - wait, _what_?"

"Yeah, we heard them saying how they want the pranks to stop, because when your angry you hurt the relationship," Lavender interjected. She was leaning across the table, glancing back and forth between Hermione and the twins further down the table.

"Don't you feel terrible about how you treated your boyfriend?" Parvati asked. "By the way, which one of them are you dating? How do you tell them apart? Have you ever confused them?"

"Where are you two getting these ideas?" Hermione nearly shrieked.

"Oh come on now Hermione!" Lavender replied, looking the girl in the eyes. "Everyone knows that you're shagging one of the Weasley Twins. We heard them say so earlier."

Hermione's jaw dropped.

"One of them was saying how you're lucky he can walk. He just hopes he can function in bed. How horrible would you feel if he couldn't satisfy you, all because of an awful revenge prank you had to play on them?"

Hermione sat there looking dumbstruck. Ginny was looking at Lavender and Parvati in disgust. "I never wanted to see my brothers in that type of light," she muttered, squeezing her eyes tightly shut. "One of them shagging Hermione? Really, where in the world did you hear that?"

"From them, of course," Parvati remarked, as if this were quite obvious.

"They said it themselves," Lavender added. "We heard them."

"Hermione?" Ron asked. "Hermione, are you all right?"

Hermione said nothing. She sat there, her mouth now closed. Her eyes though were glazed and angry. "They're telling the whole entire school that I'm with them. They're still keeping that joke going! Not only that, but they still haven't decided which one of them I'm with!"

"You must be with both of them then!" Lavender gushed with excitement.

"Oh a love triangle!" Parvati said, utterly shocked. "You're the last person I expected to be involved in that sort of thing! And with _twin brothers_ of all people!"

"It would be even more scheming if it were a twin brother and sister."

"_Excuse me_?"

Lavender and Parvati quickly left the table, giggling and whispering excitedly amongst themselves. Ron, Harry and Ginny quickly leaned in closer to Hermione, anxiously watching her for some kind of implosion.

"I really hope that's not the next rumor I'll hear about myself," she mumbled, dropping her head into her hands.

"Hermione, look," Ginny said soothingly, placing a comforting hand on the girls back. "We'll just wave it off as nothing. It isn't true after all. Fred and George are probably sore that you got them good, that's all. We'll kick their butts later and all will be okay, alright?"

"Yeah, sure," she answered distractedly. Fred and George were now leaving the table, robes bulging with extra food for experiments. Hermione quickly snatched up her butter knife and was nearly out of her seat when both Ginny and Ron hauled her back.

"I said kick their butts, not murder them," Ginny laughed softly.

"Mum might miss them," Ron added, "regardless of how much she complains about them."

"Fine then," Hermione huffed. She dropped the knife on the table and raised herself from her seat. Harry, Ron and Ginny quickly followed her, Ron looking longingly at his dinner plate. The four of them hurried out of the Great Hall and up to the common room, Hermione quietly muttering every spell she knew under her breathe.

Harry gave the password and they hurried in. Immediately they spotted the twins off in a corner, hunched over a sheet of parchment. Hermione stormed over, pulling her wand out as she went. The twins didn't notice her until it was too late.

They sat there, both of them gazing at Hermione with unmistakable fear. She pointed her wand at one two, then shifted to the other, unable to decide which one's bollocks she should heck off first. Ginny, Harry and Ron stood a few feet behind her, attempting to block the ground that would form when everyone came back from dinner.

"Hello, Hermione," Fred replied, finally finding his courage.

"So…" Hermione started to say. "Have you decided which one of you I'm shagging? Or do you just like to hear the rumors that I've got you both sharing my bed?"

"I'd like it better in George's bed; his is much bigger and we can't get in the girls dorm -"

"Oh shut-up!" Hermione snapped. "Why are you still spreading the rumors?"

"What do you mean still -?"

"We haven't been -"

"Don't play dumb!" Hermione yelled. She pushed her wand under Fred's nose. "This isn't funny. You've done enough to me already. But if this is the way you want things, then fine! But I'm warning you - you have messed with the wrong witch!"

And with that Hermione stormed off, leaving two very startled twins in her wake.

* * *

**A/N**: _No pranks this chapter, but I'll be making up for that in Chapter Eight. Stay tuned, and please review!_

**IMPORTANT: PLEASE READ**: Please see the "IMPORTANT" notice in my User Info under "About my Stories/Works" before leaving me a review begging me to update. PLEASE. Thank-you in advance to those who follow these directions.


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